So The Hell What Stars are Having Babies! Who Cares?

I am so sick and tired of seeing news reports on things that should not even be news. I mean, so f-ing what Jay-Z and Be-YAWN-ce are having a baby…..AND…? It’s so damn sad that people even care and not just that, that they would sit glued to the social media sites, newspapers, and television reports salivating to find out what these two non-important people are going to birth! What about wars that are taking place here and in other countries that have people dying? How about the homeless and the starving and the fact that the numbers have risen SHARPLY over the last five years? Or better yet, the recent discoveries made in the cures for cancer and HIV? Are we such a dense society that what a pregnant star is going to be pushing from between her legs is more important than these things? I sincerely hope the hell not! Just for the record, I have nothing against these stars but what they are doing will never be more important to me than the fact that when I get old enough to retire, there may be no money left to take care of me in my old age. I’m just sayin tho…….

My Happy Place

….Is invisible to all but me

No one can invade it, no one can even see

The door to my happy place, because it’s inside of me

This place is full of light and good memories

It’s never cloudy and I’m protective of the key

To let the darkness in would ruin this place for me

Everyone smiles and knows happiness

No one even knows what negative is

The colors of the rainbow fill up my insides

And I marvel at the beauty all around

My happy place has the greenest grass you ever did see

The scent is relaxing and has the power to consume me

I close my eyes and can feel my place

As I float away to my happy space

If you’d like to come, put a smile on your face

Because I can’t allow you to taint my happy place!

Dadless

I have often wondered where you were

If you remembered me or even how old I was

In my times of trouble, I’ve called out for thee

Only to be greeted by silence and my own longing

Many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep

Wishing for the day that you would come back for me

I’ve imagined feeling the warmth of your arms

The sound of your voice as you scolded me for the wrong I’ve done

I’ve questioned God because I didn’t understand

How my Superhero could leave me and just disappear

Did you not know that I would have many fears

Of life, and what it would mean without you there

Other little girls were loved by their Dads

But my story was that mine left because I was bad

He left because he could not bare the sight of me

And because of this, he could not love me

I have often wondered if you knew

That I grew up dating men just like you

Men who couldn’t stand the sight of me

Therefore, they could never truly love me

I have often wondered if you knew

That I grew up never expecting that I was good enough to be loved

Even by you

My vision of what a man was had become distorted

Because I learned the lesson early that you taught me

But as I grew into my own woman

I decided that you dad, did not define me

Just because you missed out on who I am

Because you gave me up and walked away clean…..

I can not allow this to make me mean

I taught myself that I have worth

Even though sometimes it still hurts

I take a look in the mirror at who I am……..

Disconnected

Some times I’m looking at myself through a mirror

And I see such hurt, pain, and anger

When did I become a bearer

I wonder of such unhappiness

Such degradation…lacking in promise

Am I alone in feeling my Father has forgotten me

That I no longer matter to him

That he doesn’t like me

Try to stay upbeat people say to me

Never understanding what it really is to be me

Looking for a savior

I think not…one doesn’t exist

But I’m looking for myself inside of me

That “Hero” Mariah sees inside of every being

Seem’s as if I’ve been doomed since birth

How do I turn this around and make it work

I still hold on to a sliver of hope

As I take my soul out and let it soak……..

What I Won’t Do

Is deny who I am

Present something false and not be myself

What I won’t do is conform to the world

Do what every one else does just because it’s what sells

What I won’t do is let you see me sweat

‘Cuz then you’ll constantly want to see me sweat

What I won’t do is pretend and put on airs

Act like shit is sweet when I know that it ain’t

What I won’t do is lose myself

Stoop low like the haters letting them dictate my steps

What I won’t do is lose sight of my dreams

Those dreams are the few things no one can take away from me

What I won’t do is tell you what you want to hear

A person who loves you may still need to say some hurtful things

What I won’t do is smile in your face

If I don’t like you, you won’t get a smile from me

 

But what I will do is continue to love

All of my true friends who accept the above

Those who take me as I am

What I will do is be a great friend!

Mental Affair

I’m not supposed to think of you

I’m not supposed to wonder about you

I’m not supposed to dream of you

Dream of all the ways you can take away my blues

I’m not supposed to day dream of you and I

And create stories in my mind

Of laughter and dates between you and I

Of lovemaking so sweet we forget the time

Secret smiles when you cross my mind

I imagine you holding me and I sigh

Contentment and satisfaction is what I hide

Thinking of you when I’m not supposed to in my mind

The Joke’s On You

The things you’re doing only make you look weak

You’re doing negative things aimed at me

Going out of your way to be mean

Making it clear that you won’t support me

Telling lies and making up stories so that people will see

Your side of things when it concerns me

Rolling your eyes and stomping your feet

When people go against what you say- they like me

In all of this you’re forgetting a few things

I’m much smarter than you even thought you see

Your support I do not need and the mean things that you’re doing aren’t affecting me

I could care less about the lies you tell

Because I’m comfortable knowing the truth will prevail

You expect me to react but you don’t know me that well

I’m fine with you being the jester people point at and smirk

I sit high perched on my pedestal

Watching you make a fool as you always do

I accept we’ll never be cool

My mind is too strong for the manipulation games you pull

We’d be friends if I were as weak as you

But friends like you are dead weight and mean me no good

So I’ll sit back quietly and let you be the fool

You’ll see soon enough that the joke’s on you