Dadless

I have often wondered where you were

If you remembered me or even how old I was

In my times of trouble, I’ve called out for thee

Only to be greeted by silence and my own longing

Many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep

Wishing for the day that you would come back for me

I’ve imagined feeling the warmth of your arms

The sound of your voice as you scolded me for the wrong I’ve done

I’ve questioned God because I didn’t understand

How my Superhero could leave me and just disappear

Did you not know that I would have many fears

Of life, and what it would mean without you there

Other little girls were loved by their Dads

But my story was that mine left because I was bad

He left because he could not bare the sight of me

And because of this, he could not love me

I have often wondered if you knew

That I grew up dating men just like you

Men who couldn’t stand the sight of me

Therefore, they could never truly love me

I have often wondered if you knew

That I grew up never expecting that I was good enough to be loved

Even by you

My vision of what a man was had become distorted

Because I learned the lesson early that you taught me

But as I grew into my own woman

I decided that you dad, did not define me

Just because you missed out on who I am

Because you gave me up and walked away clean…..

I can not allow this to make me mean

I taught myself that I have worth

Even though sometimes it still hurts

I take a look in the mirror at who I am……..

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2 thoughts on “Dadless

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