Revenge is a dish best served….HOT!

While some say that revenge is a dish best served cold, I disagree and say the complete opposite. Take for instance the story of how I taught one of my exes that dishing out hot revenge was my strong suit:

My boyfriend and I lived in a one bedroom apartment of which I was rarely there. It was my first year of college and between classes and a full-time job; I was never home until the late evening. One particular day we had an argument (of which he started) and I became so angry that I stormed out and went over to my mother’s house. I stayed the night there but when the morning came I decided that I was going to ditch work and school to go back home and talk through the issue with my mate. As I bounded up the stairs leading to our unit, it sounded as if he wasn’t the only person in my place. I inserted the key and unlocked the door but before walking in, opened the door a tad and peeked through a little crack. I saw him lying on his back with a female straddling him. My first reaction was to barge in and give them a good tongue-lashing, but then I thought better of it…I had an idea. I closed the door and walked around to the back of the building so that I could come into the apartment through the back door undetected. Tip-toeing around the kitchen, I patiently waited as I let the pot on the stove boil and I cooked up a nice pot of grits. Knowing that he liked his grits with sugar and butter, of course I fixed it up real nice. Taking the pot by the handle, I crept into the living room where they were so enthralled in one another and stood over them taking aim. I threw the contents of the pot as if I was a pitcher for my favorite team the Yankees. The steamy grits landed on both unsuspecting bodies and I shouted, “Here’s breakfast! Thought you guys might be a little hungry!” As they jumped up and howled out in pain, I laughed so hard that I fell to my knees holding my belly. Here were these two mutha-suckas hopping and jumping around with white, hot, steamy grits sticking to their skin. Him with his ‘Johnson’ swinging around like it was trying to detach itself from his body…CLASSIC!

Needless to say that I moved out as they were still hopping around trying to cool their skin off. He told the story to anyone that would listen AND told the officers that came out after I was gone that he was ABUSED UNPROVOKED. I paid a $50 fine and smirked at him in court. My parting words to him outside of the courtroom were, “Revenge is a dish best served hot.”

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