In my opinion, the holidays are all about family and enjoying each other; making memories and loving on one another. As it gets closer to Christmas and also as I get older, I find myself thinking more about my mortality and the fact that one day I’m going to have to leave this place; leaving behind one of the things most precious to me, my family. I have always considered my family to be a close family and that they are the best bunch of folks I’ve ever known. My family is funny, some are supportive, some are loving, some are wise, and some I want to slap on a daily basis (with love of course!)
I find myself reaching out to members of my family and trying to get closer to them because I fear that we may run out of time. It’s always the case that someone close to us dies and we end up regretting that we didn’t spend more time with them or we wish we would have said something to them that we’ve always wanted to say.
What I’m realizing now is that not all of my family members think and feel the way that I do. You’ve got some that never call or answer their phones when you call them. In my mind they want me to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they do not and will not make time for me in their day. I am not important enough for them to hold a five minute phone conversation with. I wonder what their regret will be if our time gets cut short?
Some hold their friends closer to them and push their family away, which is a hurtful thing. This can be especially hurtful when you are reaching out and making an attempt to forge relationships and getting smacked down. I wonder what their regret will be if our time gets cut short?
Now maybe I have done something in my past that offended or hurt one of my family members. It would be understandable that the person may not want to deal, but then they have to ask themselves: Is what my family member did to me worth treating them like crap? If you believe that it is worth it, by all means, continue to be a bitch.
I am being pushed away on so many different levels, as I am sure most of us have experienced this at one time or another, and the only thing I can say is: I wonder what their regret will be? I have decided that one of my New Year’s resolutions will be that I will stop trying and reaching out. Sometimes you have to love people from a distance……