Freeing Myself

A few months ago I cut off all of my hair. When I say all of it, I mean all of it. I sat down in the barber’s chair and when I got up I was left with a short fade. I did not do this because everyone was doing it. I did not do this because I was seeking attention. I did it because it was what I wanted to do! Oddly enough, by doing this I became a target for the negative and positive.

 People stared rudely (it seems as if they cannot help it) at what they considered to be different. Everywhere that I went I noticed people openly staring at me. It was apparent that they had either never learned or had completely forgotten that it is rude to stare at people.

Young men and women would point at me and snicker and some would do this while frowning up their faces. On one Sunday morning my family and I had gone to church, the same church that we had been attending for over a year. I had seen the young men and women already staring at me, whispering to one another, and some sneaking peeks at me from the corner of their eyes. This is Montgomery Alabama so yes; they were all in a group and participating in this behavior as a whole. One of the young men in the church and of the group casually walked up to me and with a disgusted look on his face asked, “What made you cut your hair off?”

My response was, “Please tell me why it is important to your life that I answer that ignorant question?”

He walked away, presumably to report back to the group that was waiting for my response. RUNTELLDAT!

While the question alone was not ignorant, the manner in which he (they) asked the question was very ignorant to me. I learned that because society is conditioned to seeing people in certain ways (weaves, braids, and for men fade haircuts) it is hard for them to accept anything that is different from what they consider to be the “norm.”

One thing that I did find interesting was that the older men and women looked at me as if I were the most courageous person that they had ever seen. I had a few approach me and tell me that I was beautiful in all of my natural form and that they could see that I was brave (this happened every single time that I traveled up to Atlanta Georgia.)

When I separated myself from my hair and the social norms, I gained this new kind of confidence. There was nothing to hide behind (no big hair, no weave swooped to the front of my face) and so what you see is really me. This new haircut made me feel more beautiful than I have ever felt before! It made me realize that while I took a bold step, I am different and no matter what anyone else thinks, I am going to remain that way. I realize that I like being a part from the crowd! I want to stand on the outside of the circle and move to the beat of my own drum!

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8 thoughts on “Freeing Myself

  1. When a woman can rock a real short cut, like a fade, she is truly beautiful. You are in Alabama the men think they are dressed up if they wear an Auburn shirt for the first time and some jeans with a crease in them, don’t let him put some sunglasses on. You can’t tell a Bama brother nothing when he rockin’ some shades. The women ain’t learned if you are gonna wear open-toe shoes all the time, get your toe-game right, and the kids think dressing like a Baptist Deacon on Easter is what you rock to your prom. Handle you!

  2. You already know I’m all for natural! And as Black women its our duty to be the positive image for our children, especially our beautiful Black girls. It’s our job as mothers to instill them with self-pride….how can you do that with a head full of Wet-N-Wavy?
    So you keep up the good work NBBS (Naturally Beautiful Black Sister)

    *Nappy ‘N Happy

    • Thank you for reading and responding RawChild! You are exactly right and I hope that my children are watching me and learning that they must be true to themselves regardless of how the rest of the world views them!

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