I received an angry text the other day from a friend of mine who was pissed about people who always complain about their situations in life, but they are not doing anything to change it. The text message read something like this:
“I have a great idea for one of your blogs! You should write about stupid ass people who complain that they don’t have a job but they are not doing anything in order to get a job. This really pisses me off because it’s like, what do they expect? Pity!”
Friend I could not agree with you more! While I understand that finding employment is not as easy as it was 15 years ago, it is not impossible either. The main difference now is that you actually have to put work into finding a job.
I find that I am greatly annoyed with people who call me up to tell me the woes they are having all because they don’t have a job.
“Man, I swear my life would be right if I just had a job.”
“My hand to God I would pay my child support if only I had a job.”
-all of this while smoking a blunt.
Here are 3 questions that I have posed to people when I got tired of listening to their grievances (feel free to use all or any combination of the 3 questions listed below):
How the hell do you expect to get a job if you can’t pop clean on a drug test?
(Typical answer: My grandfather’s cousin baby mama’s step uncle told me about these pills that flush the Mary Jane out of my system so I’m not worried about that.)
How do you expect to find a job if you walk into an establishment to ask for an application and everything from your hairline down to your toes is covered in ink?
(Typical answer: All of these 2,374,594,4994 tat’s mean something special and they are also an expression of who I am so the rest of the world needs to respect my individuality.)
How do you expect to get a job when you don’t get up out of the bed until 4:30 in the afternoon?
(Typical answer: I’m just always so tired.)
There is nothing wrong with inhaling a bit of the smooth-grove juice (Mary Jane) if that’s your thing and there is nothing wrong with nice body art (if that’s your thing) BUT everything in moderation people!
Another thing I like to tell people (especially the ones that I know just want pity and/or just like to waste my damn time) is, “Well maybe you should create your own job….you know…start your own company….” That one always stops my phone from ringing for a few days!