I move in wide circles which allow me to talk to a lot of different kinds of people entangled within a lot of different situations. Being an author, I am always interested in people and their stories. One story I am very personally familiar with and one I have been told far too often is the story of deadbeats.
Come on now, we all know who they are: the parent who walks out on their child. I can call myself an expert in this instance because we all know that experience can and will make an expert of anyone!
I’ve always wished I could just have a few minutes to live inside of Deadbeat’s head. I’d really like to know how they live with themselves. How do they stand the sight of their own faces in any mirror? Do they not wonder about the child out in the world somewhere growing up without their love, affection, and attention? Maybe they figure that the child is not missing anything? Well I’d beg to differ! While it is important financially to support ones child, it is not always feasible. Maybe the deadbeat lost his (her) job and has no money? Is that a good enough excuse to be physically, emotionally, and mentally absent as a parent? Nope! Unless Deadbeat is overseas at war or dead, there is no good reason why they aren’t being a responsible parent to what they helped to create.
For some of these slackers out here, being labeled a deadbeat isn’t enough. One step up from the deadbeat is who I like to call Deadbeat Selective Bum. Deadbeat Selective Bum is even worse than your average deadbeat because not only do they not take care of their child, but they go out and make more OR they go and get with another person who has children and take care of those. Hold on a minute, you walked out on your own to go and raise someone else’s? Wow! I’d like to ask Deadbeat Selective Bums what their own child has done to them that the next child is more important to them than their own. Maybe I’m just dense, but I fail to see this as anything but ratchet behavior. I don’t understand what kind of sense it makes to be having children and you already know that you suck at that job. Oh, wait..Maybe it’s a game and I didn’t get the memo? The ‘How Many Children Can I Make and Abandon before I Die’ game.
I’d also like to sit and chat with the significant others of these deadbeats. I’d like to know how they justify to themselves that they are contributing to the problem. Do they tell themselves that the abandoned child doesn’t matter as long as the deadbeat is doing for them and/or their children? How do they look at deadbeat and deadbeat selective bum and sleep with them without throwing up in their own throats? I wonder if the significant other ever considers that if deadbeat/deadbeat selective bum left another person and is forcing that other person to go it alone at parenthood it will most likely turn out the same way for them. How can anyone respect a person who abandons their child?
The moral of the story is this: If you are a man or woman out here in this world and you have children that you are not providing for (spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially) you need to get your mind right and real quick. I can’t speak for others but I can surely speak for self when I say that I don’t have any respect for you as a human, period. Just remember that one day you will have to answer for all your actions and inactions…..What will be your excuse to the child that you abandoned? To your maker?