Can people change? I believe that people can change. A liar can stop telling lies and make a conscious decision and effort to only spit the truth. A liar can take into account that their story-telling hurts and offends people.
An abuser can stop abusing others. An abuser can tell themselves that they do not want to hurt the people that they love anymore. A cheater can stop cheating. A cheater is capable of understanding that their action is the reason why they are hurting their significant other.
A thief can stop stealing. A thief can resist putting their hands on things that do not belong to them.
Okay, so maybe the better question is, “Do people change?” I believe that people CAN change but I think more often than not, they do not. Most people do not like change and when change is implemented, they resist it and try their hardest to fight against it. If your employer starts changing things around how often have you said, “I don’t know why they’re changing things around; we’ve been doing things this way for the last 10 years!” I think that most people are unable to face truths about themselves which means that they don’t truly know themselves, which in turn makes them vulnerable to people telling them who they THINK they are and it ultimately affects their ability to change because they don’t know themselves so they take another person’s view of themselves on as truth and if others say there is nothing wrong, well then they have no changes to make…..Did ya follow that? If not, go back and read it slowly….I even had to a few times.
On a personal scale, how often do you take a close look at the person you are and realize that there are things about yourself that you need to change? How often do you look at the company you keep and realize that there are things about them that they would benefit from changing? If you are like me then the answer to these questions is often.
Many years ago a wise woman told me that there is always room for growth and that we should never stop striving to be better people. Now that I am older and I have children, I constantly hear her voice in my head giving me this insight. I figured out though that in order to strive to be a better person, I had to self-reflect and be honest with myself about who I was.
If you knew me four years ago you would probably realize that I have come a long way but the journey was not easy in the least. I spent plenty of time looking at myself and being my own biggest critic. I knew that in my heart I was a good person, that I cared about others and that I was compassionate. On the other hand I was also argumentative, unforgiving, aggressive, and confrontational. I soon figured out that while most of these things were not necessarily bad, there had to be a healthy balance. These things are still a part of who I am BUT I have learned that we have to know when change is necessary.
I will argue you down on issues that I feel strongly about. I am aggressive to the point that I know what I want out of my life and I am willing to put the work in to get there and if you are standing in my way I’ll simply steamroll over you. I will confront you if I feel like it is necessary but I won’t waste my precious time on trivial shit. I am still working on being able to forgive people who I feel have wronged me. See? Honesty…and nobody got hurt!
Now, not everyone is going to like you. Hell, not everyone likes you now without changing things about yourself BUT your personal change is not for everyone else; it’s for you! Follow me here…..I look at myself and decide to change things about me…for ME. I am not interested in how others see me because people are going to see what they want to see regardless of who you truly are. I work hard at pleasing myself because the opinion I hold of myself is the only one (besides God’s opinion) that matters. I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND LIKE WHAT I SEE!
Moral of the story: be a strong enough person to want to make the changes necessary to be a better person…for YOU! Yes it is hard to not consider how other people view you but trust my truth that people will judge you and test you no matter who you are as a person at the core of your being. Once you are able to truthfully see yourself and to start making steps to being a better person, no one can tell you who they THINK you are. You KNOW who you are and therefore; they have NO power over you!